Stepping through the door

I will be the first to admit that I suck at giving advice in regards to making choices. Unless the options are far different from another in terms of pros and cons, I'm clueless on what to recommend. This only apply to things that are important though, especially decisions that can have life-changing consequences. Dilemma over what colour of a car to get or wearing what to the party next week will get quick, straight answers from me simply because they are that - subjective and not the very least, important.

A friend recently looked to change her job because of career reasons; she was simply not doing what she should be doing at this stage of life in relation to her profession, creating what she described as an atmosphere of dissatisfaction and in some aspects, job insecurity. When offered jobs at two different places, she asked me what I thought about them in comparison to the current work.

To be honest I must be as frustrating as hell to not be able to give clear answers for the reason that I believe this is one decision that she had to do herself. Personally I felt the urge to just get her to accept the new job and forget the past but common sense cautioned me on doing so for the reason that I would be stepping away from one thing that I have always told others not to do - predicting the future.

What if the new job turned out worst than what it is right now?
What if the current job took a turn for the better and went on from strength to strength?

There's always the calm before a storm.
Or the golden sky at the end of the storm.
Or a storm in a teacup.

Whilst I know I cannot be responsible for a decision taken by others, I know it can just as much be my fault for pushing the issue.

I was gloomed for a moment of time for the reason that being in knowledge of friends in such predicaments can sometimes be related to some that I myself have been through. I know how uncomfortable the feeling of being unsure about something so important can eat into one's mood. Whilst we should all be professional when it comes to discharging our duties, only those with hearts made of cold, lifeless steel can carry on without being affected in any way.

And not a single one of us were born with cold, lifeless steel hearts.

All the best at your new job, mon amie.

Global citizen

A friend and I once had a chat about our languages and it inevitably moved towards racist topics that will remain private between the both us. One of the thing she asked me in some degree of surprise was my lack of 'racism'.

"Are you not at least a little bit racist?".

One of the main triggers for this viewpoint is the appearance of a question that is repeated quite often in political alignment questionaires that I like to partake in that goes like this:

'It is foolish to be proud of your nationality as you cannot choose where you're born'.

The answer to that question is suitably one of a range of agree/disagreements between 1 to 5, 1 being th strongly agree and the other end strongly disagree. My answer to that was a 3 - neither agree nor disagree.

I like to apply that question to things such as race as well, which would make it sound like this:

'It is foolish to be proud of your racial ancestry as you cannot choose into what racial family you're born'.

I'm a firm 'Strongly Agree' for this one.

I'm a 3rd generation Malaysian Chinese - great grandfather was from China, his son born here and my dad after him. I was brought up in Chinese values and could speak 4 Chinese dialects including Mandarin.

That is where it ends.

I see no reason to have any kind of affinity to the country of my ancestry, China. I feel no support for China when they have their representatives in international tournaments. I don't feel the need to applaud the Chinese for sending a taikonaut into space and neither do I think they're amazing for being the most populous nation in the world. I have pretty much no reaction to local chinese who kept harping about China becoming the biggest economy on Earth or the military might of its army.

Big deal.

It would be an actual big deal if I were a businessman or the economic policy maker of the country as the market of China is so big, it would be foolish to ignore the potential. In this sense we're already talking business and economics, not race.

Furthermore what benefit is there for me to be proud of 'motherland' China anyway? The CCP have no idea I even exist, I don't receive any kind of perk for being born into a family sharing the same cultural values as those there, neither would it make any difference to my life now if they won the Thomas Cup. Who freaking cares if Vietnamese were descended of the Chinese.

Big deal.

I enjoy Chinese New Year for the chance to go home and meet the family annually. The family matters to me, not the festival itself. The celebrations allow gives everybody the reason to get together for a yearly reunion, an agreed period of holiday so that we can all spend some time catching up with one another. What is Chinese New Year without the family - I learned this the hard way twice away from my hometown - so I make it a point to confirm my tickets early for that eagerly anticipated flight home - to meet the family.

So when it comes to racial discussions - being of chinese ancestry et al - I find it pretty cringeworthy when people start to put down others different from them just because they were 'fortunate' enough to be born in a family that traced its ancestry to the great emperors of the Middle Kingdom.

What if the positions were reversed?
How is he or she going to defend that?

I love the 'what ifs'.

Throughout my association with people from all sorts of background I learn the truth about judging a person - their actions. This is where the playing field is level (or pretty much) - we can choose to do something or don't.

To me Guy A who worked hard to build his life with honest work is always better than the Guy B who bums around.

There is no such thing as a superior or inferior race. There are only individuals and what they do is the thing of which they should be judged upon, not societal stereotypes made up by people who probably don't spend much time knowing others but their own kind anyway. You know, rumours are sexier than truth most of the time and even 'truth' can differ from one person to another.

Besides, there are many ugly things from the perspective of China's history that seems to automatically disappear as if it never happened, some times glossed over as a 'requirement' or 'greater good' in hindsight.

Yea, it's also because history is written by the victors.

I prefer to become a global citizen and enjoy Korean music, read the excerpts of Omar Khayyam's Rubaiyat, joke around with Scousers of Liverpool, debate about the Middle East with a Jew, watch Hanamichi Sakuragi go 'tensai reboundo king!' in the Slam Dunk! anime, leaf through James Clavell's Asian Saga, discuss Subway with an American, eat tandoori chicken from the local mamak etc.

It would be downright boring to be 'just Chinese'.

Wind of Change

Ever go wake up in the morning and think, "Gosh, I need a change" ?

I'm quite the creature of routine and freedom (what a contradiction), meaning that I like to have the days and the week pass by without changing too much, in which that I then get to have lots of time to whatever I want. I'm simply one of those people who looks to have time to himself to do whatever he feels like doing, be it hibernate in bed, pick up a book, do gardening, learn a foreign language etc.

I could get upset if this freedom is somewhat blocked or taken away, but usually it's due to unavoidable circumstances such as work. Well, it's normally work. But that's beside the point.

Working like a bee during weekdays make it difficult to find time for oneself as I am one of those who needs lots of 'recovery time' ie. some quiet moments in the evening to cool down before it starts all over again in the next day.

Hence my unwillingness to fill up most of this time with itineraries that would take up too much time to travel, too much noise, too many people etc. I save all that for the weekends when there's more time.

Sometimes I wonder why do I look forward so much to this free time? I mean it's a normal thing to want time off after work but I am the happiest when I get the time to do what I want.

Still, sometimes I feel that this must change - I must want to do many things during this free time and yet not dread it when it ends. I mean the weekends do come as they are without fail unless the world ends before then, but the feeling of it ending is almost always that of looking forward to the next one.

I mean what's wrong with the weekdays?

I seriously don't know why.

I just want to go to sleep knowing that I have enjoyed the day, but the thought of tomorrow stays in the head always.

I have always - in fact, just an hour earlier to my friend's dad - told people to take things one day at a time. Nobody knows what will happen next.

Perhaps some change will be good. What sort? Let's just see.