19 February 2009

Happy belated Valentines.

Friends on MSN were asking if my user status notification above was a reaction to not having anyone to celebrate V-day with or one of discomfort for the celebration. It read:

"Should love be in the air only in February?"

Frankly, it's neither. It was a response to another friend's notification of (paraphrased) 'The day of celebration with your loved one".

Sure it is but why choose just one specific day to do that?

I think the answer to the question above is that people will find every reason to celebrate something which is great news for Hallmark, florist shops and (overpriced) swanky restaurants.

IMHO love should be something that is either what you yourself want to or voluntarily give rather than being expected to. I've heard from friends complaining about their relationships growing from one of warm fuzzy feeling to that of obligatory. But top of the pops amongst all complaints are 'I don't feel like she/he loves me anymore' or the opposite 'I don't love him/her anymore'.

Once read about a loving couple who celebrated their 50th marriage anniversary, when asked about the secret of their lasting marriage the answer given was simple: "love is not something that is there, you have to make it happen. Love is about making tea for him when he comes home tired from work, helping her clean and dry the dishes after dinner, telling him he can sleep in today and you will send the children to school, making her sandwiches for lunch when she's waking the kids up; love are all the simple things we do for one another".

Perhaps we've been looking for the wrong things when it comes to love? Many of my female friends are somewhat impressed (but not enough :P) that I can actually speak the sweetest and most romantic things, but only when I don't mean it. I suppose I can act very well when it comes to impressing people but I guess I don't like to get people to like me by impressing them because I know once the novelty wears off, you have to try harder and you'll eventually go back to who you were before.

Hence Valentine becomes the 'day of renewal' - please her today and you have the next few months off the hook.

Not convinced?

Consider the story of St Valentine below:

"Numerous early Christian martyrs were named Valentine. Until 1969, the Catholic Church formally recognized eleven Valentine's Days.[citation needed] The Valentines honored on February 14 are Valentine of Rome (Valentinus presb. m. Romae) and Valentine of Terni (Valentinus ep. Interamnensis m. Romae). Valentine of Rome was a priest in Rome who suffered martyrdom about AD 269 and was buried on the Via Flaminia. His relics are at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome and at Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland.

Valentine of Terni became bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) about AD 197 and is said to have been killed during the persecution of Emperor Aurelian. He is also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than Valentine of Rome. His relics are at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni (Basilica di San Valentino).

The Catholic Encyclopedia also speaks of a third saint named Valentine who was mentioned in early martyrologies under date of February 14. He was martyred in Africa with a number of companions, but nothing more is known about him.

No romantic elements are present in the original early medieval biographies of either of these martyrs. By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the fourteenth century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost".


Go figure.

I'd imagine even if I am no longer single it's unlikely to change that this day to me is a day of obligation.

Yeah, that's so unromantic.