More KTM Stuff

If I were to note down everything there is to say about KTM Berhad this place would be called the KTM Blog instead of the sumptuous noodles that I am currently craving so much for (note to self : get some this coming Saturday). Besides, being new to the whole environment - I began taking the train two months before the fuel hike - there's bound to be new things to write about until I get bored of it eventually.

I already am considering that I am taking it on a daily basis to work so my input on the matter is just as valuable as the veterans and newbies alike who squeeze in and become part of the proverbial sardine community every day.


Canned Sardines

There's something about Friday that makes causes an unexplainable surges in the number of passengers who try to board the train home. On normal days, by 7:00 pm the rows of people who wait for the train at the KL Sentral platform would normally thin down to two until eight. On Fridays however, it stays at four until 8:30 pm.

One feasible explaination that I can think of is possibly the coming of the weekend. Nobody is in a hurry to get back so everybody decided to arrive around 6:00 pm or so.

I was caught in one of those last Friday and sufficed to say the word 'packed' doesn't do justice to the situation in the train. People kept pushing in when there is already space so much so that I could actually hold on to nothing and not fall forward/backwards when the train stops. Everybody is caught in the 'wave', especially those in the centre without support so when the train stops, everybody become everybody's cushion.

It came to mind that I pity the ladies on trains of such. There is pretty much no protection for them from men who think of taking advantage as they have little choice but get squeezed to the person in front, beside or behind them. Of course there are guys who only care about getting off at their destinations but I could only imagine the risks the women are taking when they get on the train as such.

In Japan they have women-only coaches to help reduce the number of incidents and better protect them and I do feel like such coaches would be useful here considering how much more conservative we are in this country.

And then you have women who either enjoys it e.g they push closer - yes, I was the 'victim' a couple of times, considering there is actually space for them to stand away from me; or they really don't bother and use taller guys as their 'pillar of support' by leaning in.

As a normal heterosexual guy, I would be expected to enjoy this but there's just this little voice inside that appeals to the gentleman in me, so I try to always have a bit of a space between me and the women in front of me (sorry about those at the back and the sides - you are the one(s) pushing me around).

Hard to believe I know, yeah, like what Roy of the IT Crowd bellows into the phone, I am from the past. I can only imagine the thoughts going through the heads of their parents or husbands.

The ride home was pretty bad but being a Friday evening, everybody were in a good mood as perfect strangers were actually joking with one another. The loose cannon was a KTM Officer who was hitching a ride to Pantai Dalam, making fun of the situation. The first stop at Angkasapuri had him joking about it being the stop for future artistes and the second at Pantai Dalam being the destination of future Prime Ministers.

Then it was all up close and personal all the way to where I got off. It was so 'up close and personal' that half of the train would probably be certified married by the time it reaches Subang.

At least the air-conditioner was strong though as the heat generated from the masses of sweaty bodies and breath would have caused it difficult to breathe.

Got off 30 minutes later and the number of passengers thinned down by almost half, giving much respite to those on their way to Port Klang.

You could almost hear the collective sighs of relief when the door opened.


Scatological Stories

... is but a scientific term to describe topics related to... solid toilet by-product.

One advice to prospective commuters: make sure your bowels are not acting, in the process off or not well dealt with before hop onto the next ride to wherever you are going.

Imagine having something threatening to push out from your backside, coupled with being squeezed from every direction and the knowledge that a proper toilet is still 15 minutes away - you will literally feel like the weakest person on earth hoping for deliverance to come. The train would also stop at times to allow another one on the same path to leave, so that few minutes of waiting will make the most atheist of us a believer.

It happens to me (to everybody, in that matter) once in a while, thanks to my 'toilet training' that seems to pretty accurately have... things... waiting to be expelled around the period of 7:00 - 7:30 am and 9:00 - 9:30 am.

Sounds amazing that you can actually control and tell you bowels when to act up, but it is true. Even if you don't feel like going at all, try going to the loo, sit on the throne or squat, try to ... push. At first it would be ridiculous to be doing so without nothing coming out, but in time your body will start to adjust itself and become regular.

Enough of this crap.


Thank You

... is still pretty regularly heard nowadays in these times no thanks to the advent of political correctness, but how many of them actually comes from the heart rather than from the head (of the departments) ?

Imagine my surprise and amusement (in the good way) of being greeted with a thank you by an attendant of KTM at KL Sentral this morning after touching the TnG card to the reader. He seems to be in a good mood and thank every single person who presented him with the ticket.

I don't know whether it all came from his heart or head, but to do so will need more than an instruction from the departmental leads to keep doing amidst hundreds of people passing through.

I salute you sir.

Anomalous Materials

Quoting from Half Life might not be the right thing but the second installment of the HL universe began with a train ride that was heading towards City 17 with nobody but you (Gordon) and two guys, all three presumably on their way to becoming thralls to the Combine overlords.

Anyway, this morning was somewhat weird in itself that the KTM train that arrived at Subang looked almost like that. Well, an exaggeration that seeing that KL is nowhere near as bad as City 17 and we are only becoming thralls to our careers.

I missed the 7:37am train thanks to my tummy that has been trained to let go at that kind of time in the morning, so I sat down and waited for the next one that will arrive in 20 minutes' time. In between waiting I read the Malaysian edition of *The Sun left by somebody (I left it to the next lad or lass to read when the train arrived).

* Lest I am branded a clueless Red by my fellow Kopites - the publisher for this one have no connections to the UK version bar the publication name and I don't really like it anyway.

As usual, the commendable improvement in KTM's delivery saw the arrival of the train right on time (or slightly late - as Capt Price of Call of Duty 4 said, "It's not hard to improve on garbage"), I stood up and waited for the door to open and suprise surprise - it was almost empty. Of the 6 x 9 rows of seats, an average of two are filled per row meaning that to some of us regular commuters God decided to throw some sunshine to our morning.

Took my seat uncustomarily, wondering what was going on as the train would normally be some 75 - 85% filled up by the time it reaches Subang station and that wasn't the end of it.

It arrived at Setia Jaya, another one of the busy stations along the way and only three to four came on - into the coach that I was on.

Huh?

Seri Setia, maybe two to three.

Hmmm.

Kampung Dato Harun, same amount of passengers like Setia Jaya - NONE.

Hmmmmm.

Jalan Templer, a little more than Setia Jaya - NONE.

Petaling, same as Jalan Templer - three or four.

Pantai Dalam - six to seven. For the first time every single one of the passengers there managed to get on, and sit down.

Angkasapuri - as usual NONE.

So what's going on today?

* Fuel prices fell dramatically thanks to the kindness and generosity of OPEC and G8 members that people decided that it's cheaper to drive than to take the public transport? (Hahaha, that was funny. Come on give us another one).

The PM announced a holiday at 3.12 am this morning?
(He may have to work like a bull as the Prime Minister but that will be ridiculous as nobody watches TV at that hour of the day).

Half of the working population taking MC or going to an Opposition sponsored rally?
(I wonder what will they take off this time).

Alien motherships hovering over the Petronas Twin Towers? (I wonder over which one as there are two).

Answers on a postcard.

One Thing After Another

I was off work yesterday for the reason that I woke up with a splitting headache. The feeling was that of a post-migraine attack (they are known to happen sometimes when one is sleeping), the throbbing pain at one side of the head that moves from one point to another. It felt like having little people in the head hammering at the wall of the skull whilst the eyeball felt like it was threatening to explode - sleeping does little to alleviate the problem as you can hardly sleep with the pain!

Got an MC and some painkillers from the doctor, took some and eventually managed to get some rest at around 10:00 am, waking up some six hours later feeling like I've never went to nap.

And thanks to this sleeping stint I stayed awake until 2:30 am or so, making waking up this morning at 6:40am a gargantuan task to undertake. Nevertheless I managed to drag my carcass off the bed and prepared myself for work, knowing that it won't be longer before I get to rest again for the weekend.

Went to the station early I normally do with the increasing number of people taking up parking space ever since the fuel hike, visiting the toilet in the process as I had a rather big dinner the night before due to skipping lunch. Timing it right, I was ready to leave to take the train only to find the (most elementary) bidet to loosen its grip on the water pipe.

Voila, water splashing to my feet resulting in soaked socks and shoe.

Things couldn't get any worst eh? Well, I missed the train by mere minutes. The next thing you know my belt gave way again as I walked to the office from KL Sentral and it began to rain (albeit droplets). Oh, did I mention that I forgot to bring my MC and claim slip too? Ah yes, I also forgot to bring my TnG card.

Stopped by the GME Factory outlet to get three pair combo of socks to change with the wet one that I took off at the station (so I rode the train without socks - how funny that would look).

Ah, what a nice start to the morning.

Note to self - secure rubber hose to pipe before using.