Jojo, you're probably right - all this 'being intellectual (duh)' thingy is probably not good in the long run - I'm up at 4.00 am typing that long winded entry that many probably won't bear to read beyond paragraph number three anyway, having to wake up at four hours later...
Had trouble staying awake at 10.30 pm I crashed on the oh-so-cool bed and dozed up until 1.00 am. There's really something about me and the night - I am most creative in the wee hours of the morning when it's just me, the keyboard, the hum of the table fan and the darkness outside the window...
29 September 2009
Looking back in anger
We like to sit back and look at things that happen and try to reason, most especially if it's something that mattered to us or something that is significant enough to warrant a reflection on the purpose of the event that occurred. Sometimes it's to justify something we did to comfort ourselves, or at times a reminder that we're probably not in total control of our destinies as we like to think.
I don't normally sit back to think in hindsight if something does have a significance in terms of meaning. There are times when something does actually make me wonder if it served as a warning about the danger of the direction that I'm going, most especially if it were something that affects the lives of people.
My second brother's passing in 1999 woke me up somewhat to the reality of life and my place in the family. Before then I took much for granted - whilst I did enjoy a good relationship with my parents, I never looked at them in the same light again after that tragedy. Whilst I still slack when it comes to calling home, I do feel happier to know my folks are enjoying themselves in retirement and were doing fine at home safe from the hustle bustle of the city.
Mom normally calls this hiao3 xiong3 in Hakka that meant empathy and knowing the consequences pf one's actions. On another perspective it meant maturing and understanding oneself being a part of a life bigger than your own. When you're capable of putting yourself in their shoes - labouring daily to feed the children, dealing with work, the joy of success and bitter taste of disappointment - you tend to appreciate them better for the patience the have for having to put up with the kind of inevitable idiocy that comes along with being a growing kid.
Was my brother's death a wake up call from God that I was walking down the wrong path et al? Did He take him away to spare my parents continuous anguish and hell of watching one of their beloved child suffer?
To be honest, nobody knows. We can only speculate and reflect but perhaps that is the reason. Maybe. It doesn't help with the fact the the Big Man upstairs doesn't give you straight answers like in an email or telegram.
The above examples would warrant time outs to think back on life and gather our ideas on what is going on, especially with the era of multitasking that inevitably multiplies the amount of things we need to think about and shaving away the important personal dialogue with ourselves that is the most brutally honest, if not enlightening. For an introvert like me, we tend to cherish off days like weekends a lot for the personal time that it gives us to catch our breaths.
On the other hand, many things are simply not worth looking back and wondering about considering that they have already happened and nothing short of divine intervention will allow one to change it and inevitably affect the current. 'What ifs' can be a bad thing if it overwhelms the person with regret, anchoring them to the past that the future cannot come.
I have many friends who like to look back at their past and sulk on it, thinking that things might have been better if they have taken the other path. Like everybody, we're all affected by things that define humanity - love & relationships, career, finance et al. Whilst we don't dwell on the petty things, I too wonder at times what it would've been like if I did things different then, decided on something else instead of what brought me here as I am right now.
However, that's where I draw the line. I stop many paces before regret simply for the reason that I believe there is not much of a benefit in regretting something. Sure, feel bad for that crappy decision you made that cost something important to slip away or a chance at good luck that came and went without being claimed - but I anchor myself back with the feeling that it would've happened the way it is even I made the other decision simply for the reason that there is no guarantee that something will happen the way you intend it to.
Life is an intricate fabric made of many threads that will affect one another - tug this part of the cloth and you will move more than just one of the interwoven strings. Similarly, tug too much and it might no longer return to the shape it used to be. What is within our hands is what coloured threads we would like to weave the fabric with and how long do we want that thread to run.
If there's anything certain about life is that we all make mistakes alongside the good regardless of how perfect one's life is (oh how boring it is to have a perfect life) and it would serve more purpose to learn from those errors in judgement and move on instead of stubbornly clinging to the point when those decisions were made because the choice had already been made.
What is lost is lost, there is no turning back the clock. Unless one is presented the second chance to make amends, we should pick ourselves up and walk on, worrying about the present being that it's the only thing we can influence right now and leave the past where it belongs - the past.
I suppose the other thing that is hard to do is to be honest with ourselves about the past. Accepting that we screwed up is something even the most realistic person about the world can't do easily - I myself have trouble accepting that the fault is mine especially the fault is shared by many - but I do accept that it's all mine if it clearly is mine alone. I mean, what's the point of fighting against all the incriminating evidence that points your way?
Reminiscing about the old times is not the same as looking back in anger - they are different in the context of one's mindset; one accepts the past as it is - the past, whilst the other refuses to do so. Sure, it hurts at times to look back and think of how differently it would've have been but that's the past.
Sometimes things just happen.
Simply because.
No reason.
It might sound like an excuse to say the above but realistically speaking unless you're absolutely sure of whatever the reason something happens, there really isn't any.
I'm not speaking about things such rain - it rained because of precipitation - that follows the Natural Law of the universe - science. There is reason for winds - hot air rises whilst cold air sinks, creating moving air.
Asking why do we see lightning before the roar of thunder is not the same as asking why some people die young or why some are born into poverty whilst other have silver spoons in their mouths.
"Forrest, you have to do your best what God has given you. Be brave Forrest, be brave in everything you do. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get", said Mrs Gump to Forrest on her deathbed.
Very aptly put, Mrs Gump.
-
Well Forrest isn't as 'stupid as stupid does' either:
“I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze. But I think maybe it's both. Maybe both are happening at the same time".
I don't normally sit back to think in hindsight if something does have a significance in terms of meaning. There are times when something does actually make me wonder if it served as a warning about the danger of the direction that I'm going, most especially if it were something that affects the lives of people.
My second brother's passing in 1999 woke me up somewhat to the reality of life and my place in the family. Before then I took much for granted - whilst I did enjoy a good relationship with my parents, I never looked at them in the same light again after that tragedy. Whilst I still slack when it comes to calling home, I do feel happier to know my folks are enjoying themselves in retirement and were doing fine at home safe from the hustle bustle of the city.
Mom normally calls this hiao3 xiong3 in Hakka that meant empathy and knowing the consequences pf one's actions. On another perspective it meant maturing and understanding oneself being a part of a life bigger than your own. When you're capable of putting yourself in their shoes - labouring daily to feed the children, dealing with work, the joy of success and bitter taste of disappointment - you tend to appreciate them better for the patience the have for having to put up with the kind of inevitable idiocy that comes along with being a growing kid.
Was my brother's death a wake up call from God that I was walking down the wrong path et al? Did He take him away to spare my parents continuous anguish and hell of watching one of their beloved child suffer?
To be honest, nobody knows. We can only speculate and reflect but perhaps that is the reason. Maybe. It doesn't help with the fact the the Big Man upstairs doesn't give you straight answers like in an email or telegram.
The above examples would warrant time outs to think back on life and gather our ideas on what is going on, especially with the era of multitasking that inevitably multiplies the amount of things we need to think about and shaving away the important personal dialogue with ourselves that is the most brutally honest, if not enlightening. For an introvert like me, we tend to cherish off days like weekends a lot for the personal time that it gives us to catch our breaths.
On the other hand, many things are simply not worth looking back and wondering about considering that they have already happened and nothing short of divine intervention will allow one to change it and inevitably affect the current. 'What ifs' can be a bad thing if it overwhelms the person with regret, anchoring them to the past that the future cannot come.
I have many friends who like to look back at their past and sulk on it, thinking that things might have been better if they have taken the other path. Like everybody, we're all affected by things that define humanity - love & relationships, career, finance et al. Whilst we don't dwell on the petty things, I too wonder at times what it would've been like if I did things different then, decided on something else instead of what brought me here as I am right now.
However, that's where I draw the line. I stop many paces before regret simply for the reason that I believe there is not much of a benefit in regretting something. Sure, feel bad for that crappy decision you made that cost something important to slip away or a chance at good luck that came and went without being claimed - but I anchor myself back with the feeling that it would've happened the way it is even I made the other decision simply for the reason that there is no guarantee that something will happen the way you intend it to.
Life is an intricate fabric made of many threads that will affect one another - tug this part of the cloth and you will move more than just one of the interwoven strings. Similarly, tug too much and it might no longer return to the shape it used to be. What is within our hands is what coloured threads we would like to weave the fabric with and how long do we want that thread to run.
If there's anything certain about life is that we all make mistakes alongside the good regardless of how perfect one's life is (oh how boring it is to have a perfect life) and it would serve more purpose to learn from those errors in judgement and move on instead of stubbornly clinging to the point when those decisions were made because the choice had already been made.
What is lost is lost, there is no turning back the clock. Unless one is presented the second chance to make amends, we should pick ourselves up and walk on, worrying about the present being that it's the only thing we can influence right now and leave the past where it belongs - the past.
I suppose the other thing that is hard to do is to be honest with ourselves about the past. Accepting that we screwed up is something even the most realistic person about the world can't do easily - I myself have trouble accepting that the fault is mine especially the fault is shared by many - but I do accept that it's all mine if it clearly is mine alone. I mean, what's the point of fighting against all the incriminating evidence that points your way?
Reminiscing about the old times is not the same as looking back in anger - they are different in the context of one's mindset; one accepts the past as it is - the past, whilst the other refuses to do so. Sure, it hurts at times to look back and think of how differently it would've have been but that's the past.
Sometimes things just happen.
Simply because.
No reason.
It might sound like an excuse to say the above but realistically speaking unless you're absolutely sure of whatever the reason something happens, there really isn't any.
I'm not speaking about things such rain - it rained because of precipitation - that follows the Natural Law of the universe - science. There is reason for winds - hot air rises whilst cold air sinks, creating moving air.
Asking why do we see lightning before the roar of thunder is not the same as asking why some people die young or why some are born into poverty whilst other have silver spoons in their mouths.
"Forrest, you have to do your best what God has given you. Be brave Forrest, be brave in everything you do. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you gonna get", said Mrs Gump to Forrest on her deathbed.
Very aptly put, Mrs Gump.
-
Well Forrest isn't as 'stupid as stupid does' either:
“I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floating around accidental-like on a breeze. But I think maybe it's both. Maybe both are happening at the same time".
24 September 2009
Global citizen
A friend and I once had a chat about our languages and it inevitably moved towards racist topics that will remain private between the both us. One of the thing she asked me in some degree of surprise was my lack of 'racism'.
"Are you not at least a little bit racist?".
One of the main triggers for this viewpoint is the appearance of a question that is repeated quite often in political alignment questionaires that I like to partake in that goes like this:
'It is foolish to be proud of your nationality as you cannot choose where you're born'.
The answer to that question is suitably one of a range of agree/disagreements between 1 to 5, 1 being th strongly agree and the other end strongly disagree. My answer to that was a 3 - neither agree nor disagree.
I like to apply that question to things such as race as well, which would make it sound like this:
'It is foolish to be proud of your racial ancestry as you cannot choose into what racial family you're born'.
I'm a firm 'Strongly Agree' for this one.
I'm a 3rd generation Malaysian Chinese - great grandfather was from China, his son born here and my dad after him. I was brought up in Chinese values and could speak 4 Chinese dialects including Mandarin.
That is where it ends.
I see no reason to have any kind of affinity to the country of my ancestry, China. I feel no support for China when they have their representatives in international tournaments. I don't feel the need to applaud the Chinese for sending a taikonaut into space and neither do I think they're amazing for being the most populous nation in the world. I have pretty much no reaction to local chinese who kept harping about China becoming the biggest economy on Earth or the military might of its army.
Big deal.
It would be an actual big deal if I were a businessman or the economic policy maker of the country as the market of China is so big, it would be foolish to ignore the potential. In this sense we're already talking business and economics, not race.
Furthermore what benefit is there for me to be proud of 'motherland' China anyway? The CCP have no idea I even exist, I don't receive any kind of perk for being born into a family sharing the same cultural values as those there, neither would it make any difference to my life now if they won the Thomas Cup. Who freaking cares if Vietnamese were descended of the Chinese.
Big deal.
I enjoy Chinese New Year for the chance to go home and meet the family annually. The family matters to me, not the festival itself. The celebrations allow gives everybody the reason to get together for a yearly reunion, an agreed period of holiday so that we can all spend some time catching up with one another. What is Chinese New Year without the family - I learned this the hard way twice away from my hometown - so I make it a point to confirm my tickets early for that eagerly anticipated flight home - to meet the family.
So when it comes to racial discussions - being of chinese ancestry et al - I find it pretty cringeworthy when people start to put down others different from them just because they were 'fortunate' enough to be born in a family that traced its ancestry to the great emperors of the Middle Kingdom.
What if the positions were reversed?
How is he or she going to defend that?
I love the 'what ifs'.
Throughout my association with people from all sorts of background I learn the truth about judging a person - their actions. This is where the playing field is level (or pretty much) - we can choose to do something or don't.
To me Guy A who worked hard to build his life with honest work is always better than the Guy B who bums around.
There is no such thing as a superior or inferior race. There are only individuals and what they do is the thing of which they should be judged upon, not societal stereotypes made up by people who probably don't spend much time knowing others but their own kind anyway. You know, rumours are sexier than truth most of the time and even 'truth' can differ from one person to another.
Besides, there are many ugly things from the perspective of China's history that seems to automatically disappear as if it never happened, some times glossed over as a 'requirement' or 'greater good' in hindsight.
Yea, it's also because history is written by the victors.
I prefer to become a global citizen and enjoy Korean music, read the excerpts of Omar Khayyam's Rubaiyat, joke around with Scousers of Liverpool, debate about the Middle East with a Jew, watch Hanamichi Sakuragi go 'tensai reboundo king!' in the Slam Dunk! anime, leaf through James Clavell's Asian Saga, discuss Subway with an American, eat tandoori chicken from the local mamak etc.
It would be downright boring to be 'just Chinese'.
"Are you not at least a little bit racist?".
One of the main triggers for this viewpoint is the appearance of a question that is repeated quite often in political alignment questionaires that I like to partake in that goes like this:
'It is foolish to be proud of your nationality as you cannot choose where you're born'.
The answer to that question is suitably one of a range of agree/disagreements between 1 to 5, 1 being th strongly agree and the other end strongly disagree. My answer to that was a 3 - neither agree nor disagree.
I like to apply that question to things such as race as well, which would make it sound like this:
'It is foolish to be proud of your racial ancestry as you cannot choose into what racial family you're born'.
I'm a firm 'Strongly Agree' for this one.
I'm a 3rd generation Malaysian Chinese - great grandfather was from China, his son born here and my dad after him. I was brought up in Chinese values and could speak 4 Chinese dialects including Mandarin.
That is where it ends.
I see no reason to have any kind of affinity to the country of my ancestry, China. I feel no support for China when they have their representatives in international tournaments. I don't feel the need to applaud the Chinese for sending a taikonaut into space and neither do I think they're amazing for being the most populous nation in the world. I have pretty much no reaction to local chinese who kept harping about China becoming the biggest economy on Earth or the military might of its army.
Big deal.
It would be an actual big deal if I were a businessman or the economic policy maker of the country as the market of China is so big, it would be foolish to ignore the potential. In this sense we're already talking business and economics, not race.
Furthermore what benefit is there for me to be proud of 'motherland' China anyway? The CCP have no idea I even exist, I don't receive any kind of perk for being born into a family sharing the same cultural values as those there, neither would it make any difference to my life now if they won the Thomas Cup. Who freaking cares if Vietnamese were descended of the Chinese.
Big deal.
I enjoy Chinese New Year for the chance to go home and meet the family annually. The family matters to me, not the festival itself. The celebrations allow gives everybody the reason to get together for a yearly reunion, an agreed period of holiday so that we can all spend some time catching up with one another. What is Chinese New Year without the family - I learned this the hard way twice away from my hometown - so I make it a point to confirm my tickets early for that eagerly anticipated flight home - to meet the family.
So when it comes to racial discussions - being of chinese ancestry et al - I find it pretty cringeworthy when people start to put down others different from them just because they were 'fortunate' enough to be born in a family that traced its ancestry to the great emperors of the Middle Kingdom.
What if the positions were reversed?
How is he or she going to defend that?
I love the 'what ifs'.
Throughout my association with people from all sorts of background I learn the truth about judging a person - their actions. This is where the playing field is level (or pretty much) - we can choose to do something or don't.
To me Guy A who worked hard to build his life with honest work is always better than the Guy B who bums around.
There is no such thing as a superior or inferior race. There are only individuals and what they do is the thing of which they should be judged upon, not societal stereotypes made up by people who probably don't spend much time knowing others but their own kind anyway. You know, rumours are sexier than truth most of the time and even 'truth' can differ from one person to another.
Besides, there are many ugly things from the perspective of China's history that seems to automatically disappear as if it never happened, some times glossed over as a 'requirement' or 'greater good' in hindsight.
Yea, it's also because history is written by the victors.
I prefer to become a global citizen and enjoy Korean music, read the excerpts of Omar Khayyam's Rubaiyat, joke around with Scousers of Liverpool, debate about the Middle East with a Jew, watch Hanamichi Sakuragi go 'tensai reboundo king!' in the Slam Dunk! anime, leaf through James Clavell's Asian Saga, discuss Subway with an American, eat tandoori chicken from the local mamak etc.
It would be downright boring to be 'just Chinese'.
My choice
The world would be a very boring place if we have to conform to certain 'standards' for things that are by all means subjective, nein?
I mean, wouldn't it be boring if everybody:
My friends look at me like I just said something in Arabic when they offer me a drink, asking in the most frank of manner of 'why?' I don't drink, as if something is greatly wrong for refusing. I know how nice it is to drink - you feel all warm and fuzzy, feel good and are light headed - I suppose the question is why would I not like something that is so good like this.
I have no problems with others drinking - imbibe all you want baby - but I do have problems if they end up getting alcohol intoxication or drink to the point of swimming in their own vomit. Is it worth paying so much for glasses and glasses of beer only to have it come out of your mouth at the end? I find it criminal waste when it could be put to better use, for example the month's phone bill. And even if one is filthy rich, that's still no reason to do something just because 'everybody does it'.
I have always find no issues to reject or dislike something that appeals to most people - it's not like I feel great to be different, just that I feel it's better to be true to myself than to become what people expect of in the sense of things as subjective as personal preferences. Respect what I like/dislike and I'll do the same for you.
In short, I don't have to follow what you do. I don't have to.
The same goes for things such as faith - I have no qualms about people professing a different religion - even discuss it with me, I'm open. Just don't force your dogma on me, then we'll have a great time exchanging ideas. Ridicule what I believe when you can't substantiate your own is when I start to get a bit nasty. In fact I even like to engage atheists in their 'there is no God' evangelism (the irony...) as long as it is academic - not an avenue to rubbish me for being on the opposite side of the spectrum.
The next time I say no to a drink, I did so because I didn't want to.
My own choice.
I mean, wouldn't it be boring if everybody:
- wore the same clothes
- sport the same hairdo
- look the same
- talk the same way
- like the same things
- believe in the same things
- do the same things
My friends look at me like I just said something in Arabic when they offer me a drink, asking in the most frank of manner of 'why?' I don't drink, as if something is greatly wrong for refusing. I know how nice it is to drink - you feel all warm and fuzzy, feel good and are light headed - I suppose the question is why would I not like something that is so good like this.
I have no problems with others drinking - imbibe all you want baby - but I do have problems if they end up getting alcohol intoxication or drink to the point of swimming in their own vomit. Is it worth paying so much for glasses and glasses of beer only to have it come out of your mouth at the end? I find it criminal waste when it could be put to better use, for example the month's phone bill. And even if one is filthy rich, that's still no reason to do something just because 'everybody does it'.
I have always find no issues to reject or dislike something that appeals to most people - it's not like I feel great to be different, just that I feel it's better to be true to myself than to become what people expect of in the sense of things as subjective as personal preferences. Respect what I like/dislike and I'll do the same for you.
In short, I don't have to follow what you do. I don't have to.
The same goes for things such as faith - I have no qualms about people professing a different religion - even discuss it with me, I'm open. Just don't force your dogma on me, then we'll have a great time exchanging ideas. Ridicule what I believe when you can't substantiate your own is when I start to get a bit nasty. In fact I even like to engage atheists in their 'there is no God' evangelism (the irony...) as long as it is academic - not an avenue to rubbish me for being on the opposite side of the spectrum.
The next time I say no to a drink, I did so because I didn't want to.
My own choice.
6 September 2009
Fate, destiny or fate?
Is there such a thing as destiny?
A topic as old as humanity, we all like to leave everything to fate. The only problem is that nobody apart from God himself knows what will happen. Really, we know what can happen but what will happen?
A colleague asked me the other about my opinion regarding this thing called 'fate'. My pedantic brain was on full alert then, stating that fate and destiny are not the same thing although many people like to interchange them. If you mean 'fate' as in the perspective of the future, then they are the same thing. If you mean 'fate' as something that has happened, they are very different things altogether.
I suppose she was asking me from the aspect of the past, my answer was simply: "There is no such as fate".
They were stunned for a moment knowing that I profess the faith of one of the people of the holy books but would give such an answer than contradicts it.
Or seems to contradict it.
My explanation was that what is called 'fate' in the past tense is actually 'hindsight' ie. understanding the nature of an event after it has happened. As humans we don't know if something will happen until it happens. There are signs of things happening in the logical sense if the conditions are met but will not have happened until it actually happened. Was it fate that the Lehmann Brothers were to collapse in one of the biggest financial meltdown at Wall Street in the years? If it were so why even bother setting up the business eh?
Similarly, she gave me her own opinion which was fully agreeable IMO : she would get married and give birth to three children, that in the sense that was fate from the her viewpoint looking back in time.
A younger lady whom was part of the discussion spoke about 'fate' in the future tense that the cogs of destiny are already turning in place and will come to be as stated in the Book of Life, with God as the chief architect.
I replied that in God's perspective, yes there is a 'fate'. But from our own perspective, there isn't, for the reason that we exist only in the present and tomorrow only exists when it happens, whilst the past is already past. If anything the past is the only thing that we know is true.
Was it 'fate' that I had nasi kandar for lunch today? In hindsight, yes because I did have nasi kandar for lunch. But if I actually went for economy rice instead, wouldn't that fate be absolutely wrong then? If so, doesn't it mean fate doesn't exist since it doesn't happen until it happens? Oh, then the argument is rewritten that it was fate that I had economy rice for lunch, all of which can't be down to fate simply for the reason that I could also have had a laksa for lunch.
With so many branches of choice, surely I'm not fixed to having{food item here} until I know what I actually consumed for lunch? Heck I might even puasa out of sheer laziness on a Sunday afternoon...
A topic as old as humanity, we all like to leave everything to fate. The only problem is that nobody apart from God himself knows what will happen. Really, we know what can happen but what will happen?
A colleague asked me the other about my opinion regarding this thing called 'fate'. My pedantic brain was on full alert then, stating that fate and destiny are not the same thing although many people like to interchange them. If you mean 'fate' as in the perspective of the future, then they are the same thing. If you mean 'fate' as something that has happened, they are very different things altogether.
I suppose she was asking me from the aspect of the past, my answer was simply: "There is no such as fate".
They were stunned for a moment knowing that I profess the faith of one of the people of the holy books but would give such an answer than contradicts it.
Or seems to contradict it.
My explanation was that what is called 'fate' in the past tense is actually 'hindsight' ie. understanding the nature of an event after it has happened. As humans we don't know if something will happen until it happens. There are signs of things happening in the logical sense if the conditions are met but will not have happened until it actually happened. Was it fate that the Lehmann Brothers were to collapse in one of the biggest financial meltdown at Wall Street in the years? If it were so why even bother setting up the business eh?
Similarly, she gave me her own opinion which was fully agreeable IMO : she would get married and give birth to three children, that in the sense that was fate from the her viewpoint looking back in time.
A younger lady whom was part of the discussion spoke about 'fate' in the future tense that the cogs of destiny are already turning in place and will come to be as stated in the Book of Life, with God as the chief architect.
I replied that in God's perspective, yes there is a 'fate'. But from our own perspective, there isn't, for the reason that we exist only in the present and tomorrow only exists when it happens, whilst the past is already past. If anything the past is the only thing that we know is true.
Was it 'fate' that I had nasi kandar for lunch today? In hindsight, yes because I did have nasi kandar for lunch. But if I actually went for economy rice instead, wouldn't that fate be absolutely wrong then? If so, doesn't it mean fate doesn't exist since it doesn't happen until it happens? Oh, then the argument is rewritten that it was fate that I had economy rice for lunch, all of which can't be down to fate simply for the reason that I could also have had a laksa for lunch.
With so many branches of choice, surely I'm not fixed to having
השם האל
Every time I hear or read the words "it's God's will", I get someone annoyed.
This might raise eyebrows of people who knows me as I'm known to believe in the existence of a personal omnipresent, omnipotent God from which all of Creation began. I even spend time arguing His existence through logic - yes, it is very possible if not mandatory - with a bunch of atheists on an Internet forum. I truly believe in the existence of a Creator.
It probably sounded like blasphemy to get annoyed with "God's will" but that would be twisting the actual issues I had with that seemingly proper word of acceptance of a greater Power's control over the universe.
The main problem I had with the simple three words of submission to God's will is the abuse of it.
How many times have you heard of people who sat back and did nothing whilst watching something they could prevent from happening, muttering "it's God's will"? I shook my head whilst reading about a little girl in US who died from illness because her parents decided to rely solely on God's will, praying religiously that she will miraculously be healed because of their unshakable faith. Instead finding her medical help, they prayed and prayed. And she died.
This reminded me of the popular acronym amongst evangelists: P.U.S.H. - "pray until something happens". Until everything is out of your hands, it's bollocks. I am not preaching that the faithful should defy the will of God and abandon faith.
What I'm saying is that it becomes your will that something happens when it is still within your powers to influence it. It is only "God's will" when you have done all you can and it still failed.
That, is actual God's will.
The above turns from sad to terrifying once you mate "God's will" with self-righteousness. Religious extremists like to quote "it's God's will" at everything that they do to justify the act, be it good or absolutely ludicrous. "Doing God's work" is just as popular, especially when it comes to forcing their own interpretation of faith in God upon others.
It is God's will that almost 3000 people died on September 11th, 2001 when two planes crashed into the World Trade Centre?
The hell it is. It is the will of madmen and the hijackers who flew the plane into the towers, committing mass murder of not just people but the souls of the loved one who died that day. It was the will of God to those who fought back on the planes though as documented from phone conversations moments before the jets crashed into the symbol of world capitalism - they tried to prevent it, they failed. It is definitely not the "will of God" to those who murdered the pilots and flew them all into oblivion.
What happened to the all-important freedom of will granted to Man? God could've stopped Adam from eating the Forbidden Fruit since He knew the outcome of it being Omnipresent et al, but He allowed it to happen anyway. Adam chose to eat the forbidden fruit. He could've said "no, thanks" to the Serpent but he did anyway.
God don't make knives to stab people; people make knives stab people.
This might raise eyebrows of people who knows me as I'm known to believe in the existence of a personal omnipresent, omnipotent God from which all of Creation began. I even spend time arguing His existence through logic - yes, it is very possible if not mandatory - with a bunch of atheists on an Internet forum. I truly believe in the existence of a Creator.
It probably sounded like blasphemy to get annoyed with "God's will" but that would be twisting the actual issues I had with that seemingly proper word of acceptance of a greater Power's control over the universe.
The main problem I had with the simple three words of submission to God's will is the abuse of it.
How many times have you heard of people who sat back and did nothing whilst watching something they could prevent from happening, muttering "it's God's will"? I shook my head whilst reading about a little girl in US who died from illness because her parents decided to rely solely on God's will, praying religiously that she will miraculously be healed because of their unshakable faith. Instead finding her medical help, they prayed and prayed. And she died.
This reminded me of the popular acronym amongst evangelists: P.U.S.H. - "pray until something happens". Until everything is out of your hands, it's bollocks. I am not preaching that the faithful should defy the will of God and abandon faith.
What I'm saying is that it becomes your will that something happens when it is still within your powers to influence it. It is only "God's will" when you have done all you can and it still failed.
That, is actual God's will.
The above turns from sad to terrifying once you mate "God's will" with self-righteousness. Religious extremists like to quote "it's God's will" at everything that they do to justify the act, be it good or absolutely ludicrous. "Doing God's work" is just as popular, especially when it comes to forcing their own interpretation of faith in God upon others.
It is God's will that almost 3000 people died on September 11th, 2001 when two planes crashed into the World Trade Centre?
The hell it is. It is the will of madmen and the hijackers who flew the plane into the towers, committing mass murder of not just people but the souls of the loved one who died that day. It was the will of God to those who fought back on the planes though as documented from phone conversations moments before the jets crashed into the symbol of world capitalism - they tried to prevent it, they failed. It is definitely not the "will of God" to those who murdered the pilots and flew them all into oblivion.
What happened to the all-important freedom of will granted to Man? God could've stopped Adam from eating the Forbidden Fruit since He knew the outcome of it being Omnipresent et al, but He allowed it to happen anyway. Adam chose to eat the forbidden fruit. He could've said "no, thanks" to the Serpent but he did anyway.
God don't make knives to stab people; people make knives stab people.
It's never your fault, man
Personal responsibility is outdated and unfashionable.
I mean why should you blame yourself for screwing up when there are other people to shoulder the blame, regardless of how shallow it is. It won't make you feel any better by being the 'hero' and to carry the burden of fault caused by yourself when you can make someone else suffer for your behalf.
When a man accidentally crashes into the divider whilst driving at breakneck speeds on the freeway, why blame it on himself? The car was obviously of poor build that it can't handle simple swerves at high speeds. Perhaps it's even the highway contractor's fault for putting that curve exactly right at that point to cause him to drive into it. At 165kmph. On a rainy night. After a drinking session out with friends. Hey, blame his friends too for 'forcing' him to drink.
When a student failed her exams at school, immediately the parents stood lke collossus over the principal and teacher, demanding explanation on why she didn't pass with flying colours as they expected. When explained that she does not pay attention to class, likes to skip classes to go to the mall with like-minded friends and copy homework instead of doing them herself, the parents goes into defensive mode by saying that its the quality of education that sucks causing her to not feel the motivation to learn. They should have spoonfed her with everything she needed to know to pass the exams so that she would have plenty of attention to dedicate to endless tuitions and piano class. Obviously it was the school's fault that she didn't score straight As compared to her hardworking other classmates. The school 'forced' her to accept mediocrity as something 'OK'.
Oh if your car gets scratched because you double-parked along a narrow and busy street, it's the other driver's fault too as it's your right to park wherever you want. Do not hesitate to stare at the eyes of the guy whose car (and his hot girlfriend) your were blocking from coming out from the parking bay for disturbing your leisure time of slow dining at an adjacent block. You were 'forced' to double-park because his car was there first.
And of course, do not even think about blaming yourself for being poor because the authorities won't give you the money to sit on your backside all day long, won't lift a finger to look for a job or take classes to improve your knowledge and put it to beneficial use - whilst money is filled into your bank account with no strings attached. You were 'forced' to be poor because money won't rain from the sky, hence it's God's fault as well. Oh and God owes you all the RM10 you spend every week at the lottery syndicate, forcing you to skip meals because you weren't winning anything. Screw the gods and spirits you petitioned at the shaman whom you wasted money on for the winning number of the week.
Blaming others is the in thing now, don't become outmoded!
I mean why should you blame yourself for screwing up when there are other people to shoulder the blame, regardless of how shallow it is. It won't make you feel any better by being the 'hero' and to carry the burden of fault caused by yourself when you can make someone else suffer for your behalf.
When a man accidentally crashes into the divider whilst driving at breakneck speeds on the freeway, why blame it on himself? The car was obviously of poor build that it can't handle simple swerves at high speeds. Perhaps it's even the highway contractor's fault for putting that curve exactly right at that point to cause him to drive into it. At 165kmph. On a rainy night. After a drinking session out with friends. Hey, blame his friends too for 'forcing' him to drink.
When a student failed her exams at school, immediately the parents stood lke collossus over the principal and teacher, demanding explanation on why she didn't pass with flying colours as they expected. When explained that she does not pay attention to class, likes to skip classes to go to the mall with like-minded friends and copy homework instead of doing them herself, the parents goes into defensive mode by saying that its the quality of education that sucks causing her to not feel the motivation to learn. They should have spoonfed her with everything she needed to know to pass the exams so that she would have plenty of attention to dedicate to endless tuitions and piano class. Obviously it was the school's fault that she didn't score straight As compared to her hardworking other classmates. The school 'forced' her to accept mediocrity as something 'OK'.
Oh if your car gets scratched because you double-parked along a narrow and busy street, it's the other driver's fault too as it's your right to park wherever you want. Do not hesitate to stare at the eyes of the guy whose car (and his hot girlfriend) your were blocking from coming out from the parking bay for disturbing your leisure time of slow dining at an adjacent block. You were 'forced' to double-park because his car was there first.
And of course, do not even think about blaming yourself for being poor because the authorities won't give you the money to sit on your backside all day long, won't lift a finger to look for a job or take classes to improve your knowledge and put it to beneficial use - whilst money is filled into your bank account with no strings attached. You were 'forced' to be poor because money won't rain from the sky, hence it's God's fault as well. Oh and God owes you all the RM10 you spend every week at the lottery syndicate, forcing you to skip meals because you weren't winning anything. Screw the gods and spirits you petitioned at the shaman whom you wasted money on for the winning number of the week.
Blaming others is the in thing now, don't become outmoded!
2 September 2009
Whoever finds this
Whoever Finds This, I Love You!
Mac Davis, 1970
On a quiet street in the city a little old man walks along.
Shuffling through the Autumn afternoon.
And the Autumn leaves reminded him another summer's come and gone.
He had a long, lonely night ahead waitin' for June.
Then among the leaves near an orphan's home a piece of paper caught his eye,
And he stooped to pick it up with trembling hands.
And as he read the childish writing, the old man began to cry,
'Cause the words burned inside him like a flame.
CHORUS
"Whoever finds this, I love you!"
"Whoever finds this, I need you!"
"I ain't even got no one to talk to!"
"So, Whoever finds this, I love you!"
The old man's eyes searched the orphan's home,
And came to rest upon a child with her nose pressed up against the window pane.
And the old man knew he'd found a friend, at last,
So he waved at her and smiled.
And they both knew they'd spend the winter laughing at the rain.
And they did spend the summer laughing at the rain, talking through the fence, exchanging little gifts they'd made for each other. The old man would carve toys for the little girl, and she would draw pictures for him of beautiful ladies surrounded by green trees and sunshine, and they laughed alot. But then on the first day of June, the little girl ran to the fence to show the man a picture she had drawn, BUT HE WASN'T THERE! And somehow, the little girl knew he wasn't coming back. So she went back to her little room, took out a crayola and a piece of paper, and wrote:
"Whoever finds this, I love you!"
"Whoever finds this, I need you!"
"I don't even have no one to talk to."
"So, whoever finds this, I love you!"
---
Another of my favourite songs, the lyrics are simply poignant yet beautiful. The verses described it all like a story book.
Whilst the original was by Mac Davis, I actually prefer Chyi's version because IMO it sounded better sang with a feminine voice. Perhaps it's also because it's the first version I have ever heard until I found out about Mac Davis.
Mac Davis, 1970
On a quiet street in the city a little old man walks along.
Shuffling through the Autumn afternoon.
And the Autumn leaves reminded him another summer's come and gone.
He had a long, lonely night ahead waitin' for June.
Then among the leaves near an orphan's home a piece of paper caught his eye,
And he stooped to pick it up with trembling hands.
And as he read the childish writing, the old man began to cry,
'Cause the words burned inside him like a flame.
CHORUS
"Whoever finds this, I love you!"
"Whoever finds this, I need you!"
"I ain't even got no one to talk to!"
"So, Whoever finds this, I love you!"
The old man's eyes searched the orphan's home,
And came to rest upon a child with her nose pressed up against the window pane.
And the old man knew he'd found a friend, at last,
So he waved at her and smiled.
And they both knew they'd spend the winter laughing at the rain.
And they did spend the summer laughing at the rain, talking through the fence, exchanging little gifts they'd made for each other. The old man would carve toys for the little girl, and she would draw pictures for him of beautiful ladies surrounded by green trees and sunshine, and they laughed alot. But then on the first day of June, the little girl ran to the fence to show the man a picture she had drawn, BUT HE WASN'T THERE! And somehow, the little girl knew he wasn't coming back. So she went back to her little room, took out a crayola and a piece of paper, and wrote:
"Whoever finds this, I love you!"
"Whoever finds this, I need you!"
"I don't even have no one to talk to."
"So, whoever finds this, I love you!"
---
Another of my favourite songs, the lyrics are simply poignant yet beautiful. The verses described it all like a story book.
Whilst the original was by Mac Davis, I actually prefer Chyi's version because IMO it sounded better sang with a feminine voice. Perhaps it's also because it's the first version I have ever heard until I found out about Mac Davis.
Intellectual my arse
Here it comes again - the writer's block. After a prodigious number of entry last month I'm suddenly dry again on what to write about. I suppose Jojo was right in the sense that I like to try to sound clever by writing about topics that not many would talk about in a casual conversation but I don't really think they're that deep if you look at it anyway. I mean I write about what I think and feel about things just like everybody else in their blogs - ok, I might use more big words and like to obscure direct sentences with flourishes, but that doesn't make it any more 'intellectual' on par with say, the Tolkien Society.
Still, a good friend from a sister company called this 'intellectual intercourse', something along the lines of sex, but non-physical, involving only the mind. I read once about the mind being the sexiest part of the person, seeing that with sufficient imagination the mind becomes the entire person rather than a face, two hands and feet.
What are we when removed of our body? What is the person if not the mind? When we are attracted to somebody, our biological needs (read: reproduction) will be the first to ascertain if that person is physically attractive. Can't help it, we're all programmed this way - if you aren't then either you hormones haven't kicked into overdrive or you are simply not human.
Yet, rather than follow the law of natural selection - the prettiest, the strongest, the fastest etc - humanity would ofttimes defy this unwritten rule. We choose people whom won't be called hot or strong in common standards (which are pretty subjective anyway) for the other that is less good looking but attractive.
That is simply wrong, isn't it? Darwin's theory of evolution of the strongest doesn't quite explain it when it comes to humans due to the fact that unlike animals we get to choose against natural selection, if we want to. Normally we won't but we do. Sometimes the reasons aren't even rational. Soldiers die to protect the people they love, when they were supposed to be the one to carry on. We have health care for people whom are physically challenged when in law of the jungle, they perish leaving the strong to becomes stronger.
The one thing that makes everybody common however, is the existence of this thing called the mind. Without it we are no different to the ants that march the floor to the sugarcube you missed, the mosquito that gravitate towards the warm mammal body or even the panther stalking the kudu in the shadow of the tree. Whilst you can argue that chimpanzees (whom we share 97% of genes) show some sentience traits like using simple tools to get what they want, but they will still follow what the law of natural selection mandates of them - the strongest male will mate with the female. Rarely will you see a female chimp or bonobos choose the non-dominant male if it could, if ever.
The concept of who a person is depends greatly on his or her mind, compared to the idea of what a person is that depend on the eyes and perception of beauty. John Doe chose Jane Doe because she's Jane Doe, not Jessica Doe. He might choose Jessica Doe, yes, because Jessica Doe is Jessica Doe, not Jane Doe. And for whatever reason that he chose Jane Doe rather than the more amazing Jessica Doe for example, only John Doe will know. Did he prefer the interesting conversations he had with plain Jane to the more physically attractive Jessica whom he find to be too quiet?
He's committing a foul in the game of survival, worthy of a red card and expulsion.
The most interesting part though is that he doesn't care.
Heh, I'd be lying if I were to say that I wouldn't prefer a Jessica Doe - we all do, unless you're a straight female - but will Jessica Doe remain Jessica Doe forever? Whilst the body withers with time, the mind ages like wine - the older it is the more the flavour. If there is anything that is forever - notwithstanding diamonds (even this is not true) - it's the mind. People are still amazed when they step into the Sistine Chapel and looked at the fresco of The Last Supper - the physical manifestation of Leonardo da Vinci's mind.
Perhaps Jojo's statements are echoed the most when you at it from the perspective of tragic artists with beautiful minds - the most famous of them all Vincent van Gogh. Don McLean's famous song immortalised van Gogh as a misunderstood person:
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
they did not know how
He died from the fatal wounds of shooting himself with a revolver, then deep in depression.
I won't go to the point of being a 'misunderstood genius' if any of you actually read what was written before, how simple they are about what I feel and think. The 'big words' used are nowhere near amazing if compared to what other literary masterpieces are out there, but perhaps the audience is too weary to be burdened with more deep thoughts after a long day, preferring something that doesn't require mental aerobics.
Still, my entries are all about what I want to say anyway - sod it if nobody cares. I don't carry this attitude in real life though (as in relationship with others) but it's a pity that we all choose to believe that being simple equals being happy, thus are happy to just remain simple.
I don't begrudge people like that though, far from it. 'Whatever rocks your boat', I'd often say. But I do feel as if it's such a waste to dismiss how rich the many things that make the world the more beautiful just because it sounds or look 'intellectual'.
Damn, I'm beginning to sound like that song...
Still, a good friend from a sister company called this 'intellectual intercourse', something along the lines of sex, but non-physical, involving only the mind. I read once about the mind being the sexiest part of the person, seeing that with sufficient imagination the mind becomes the entire person rather than a face, two hands and feet.
What are we when removed of our body? What is the person if not the mind? When we are attracted to somebody, our biological needs (read: reproduction) will be the first to ascertain if that person is physically attractive. Can't help it, we're all programmed this way - if you aren't then either you hormones haven't kicked into overdrive or you are simply not human.
Yet, rather than follow the law of natural selection - the prettiest, the strongest, the fastest etc - humanity would ofttimes defy this unwritten rule. We choose people whom won't be called hot or strong in common standards (which are pretty subjective anyway) for the other that is less good looking but attractive.
That is simply wrong, isn't it? Darwin's theory of evolution of the strongest doesn't quite explain it when it comes to humans due to the fact that unlike animals we get to choose against natural selection, if we want to. Normally we won't but we do. Sometimes the reasons aren't even rational. Soldiers die to protect the people they love, when they were supposed to be the one to carry on. We have health care for people whom are physically challenged when in law of the jungle, they perish leaving the strong to becomes stronger.
The one thing that makes everybody common however, is the existence of this thing called the mind. Without it we are no different to the ants that march the floor to the sugarcube you missed, the mosquito that gravitate towards the warm mammal body or even the panther stalking the kudu in the shadow of the tree. Whilst you can argue that chimpanzees (whom we share 97% of genes) show some sentience traits like using simple tools to get what they want, but they will still follow what the law of natural selection mandates of them - the strongest male will mate with the female. Rarely will you see a female chimp or bonobos choose the non-dominant male if it could, if ever.
The concept of who a person is depends greatly on his or her mind, compared to the idea of what a person is that depend on the eyes and perception of beauty. John Doe chose Jane Doe because she's Jane Doe, not Jessica Doe. He might choose Jessica Doe, yes, because Jessica Doe is Jessica Doe, not Jane Doe. And for whatever reason that he chose Jane Doe rather than the more amazing Jessica Doe for example, only John Doe will know. Did he prefer the interesting conversations he had with plain Jane to the more physically attractive Jessica whom he find to be too quiet?
He's committing a foul in the game of survival, worthy of a red card and expulsion.
The most interesting part though is that he doesn't care.
Heh, I'd be lying if I were to say that I wouldn't prefer a Jessica Doe - we all do, unless you're a straight female - but will Jessica Doe remain Jessica Doe forever? Whilst the body withers with time, the mind ages like wine - the older it is the more the flavour. If there is anything that is forever - notwithstanding diamonds (even this is not true) - it's the mind. People are still amazed when they step into the Sistine Chapel and looked at the fresco of The Last Supper - the physical manifestation of Leonardo da Vinci's mind.
Perhaps Jojo's statements are echoed the most when you at it from the perspective of tragic artists with beautiful minds - the most famous of them all Vincent van Gogh. Don McLean's famous song immortalised van Gogh as a misunderstood person:
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
they did not know how
He died from the fatal wounds of shooting himself with a revolver, then deep in depression.
I won't go to the point of being a 'misunderstood genius' if any of you actually read what was written before, how simple they are about what I feel and think. The 'big words' used are nowhere near amazing if compared to what other literary masterpieces are out there, but perhaps the audience is too weary to be burdened with more deep thoughts after a long day, preferring something that doesn't require mental aerobics.
Still, my entries are all about what I want to say anyway - sod it if nobody cares. I don't carry this attitude in real life though (as in relationship with others) but it's a pity that we all choose to believe that being simple equals being happy, thus are happy to just remain simple.
I don't begrudge people like that though, far from it. 'Whatever rocks your boat', I'd often say. But I do feel as if it's such a waste to dismiss how rich the many things that make the world the more beautiful just because it sounds or look 'intellectual'.
Damn, I'm beginning to sound like that song...
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