Now that's...

Just a couple of days of talking about women and my 'expectations', I stumbled upon this on Wikipedia:

Introversion

Introversion is "the state of or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with and interested in one's own mental life". Introverts are people whose energy tends to expand through reflection and dwindle during interaction.Introverts tend to be more reserved and less outspoken in large groups.

 They often take pleasure in solitary activities such as reading, writing, music, drawing, tinkering, playing video games, watching movies and plays, and using computers, along with some more reserved outdoor activities such as fishing. In fact, social networking sites have been a thriving home for introverts in the 21st century, where introverts are free from the formalities of social conduct and may become more comfortable blogging about personal feelings they would not otherwise disclose.

The archetypal artist, writer, sculptor, engineer, composer, and inventor are all highly introverted. An introvert is likely to enjoy time spent alone and find less reward in time spent with large groups of people, though he or she may enjoy interactions with close friends. Trust is usually an issue of significance: a virtue of utmost importance to an introvert choosing a worthy companion. They prefer to concentrate on a single activity at a time and like to observe situations before they participate, especially observed in developing children and adolescents.Introverts are easily overwhelmed by too much stimulation from social gatherings and engagement. They are more analytical before speaking.

Did Wikipedia just described me in three paragraphs?

This Sim Guy is also a lot richer than I am

Expectations vs desires

Twice last weekend and once again last week I was commented on the reason for why I am still single as of today

"Perhaps you're being too picky".

I have been hearing that comment for the last five years now and it is not like I have not wondered about how true it is. Best part about that is all it came from people whom I have not met or seen for a long time, the last being a lady friend who is currently in Penang when I had a chat during the early morning before work.

The week before was my ex-supervisor's fiancée, Vickee, asked

"What is it in a woman that you're looking for?"

I've given thought to that question in the past week or so to fill the mind during those boring traffic jams or any other activities that requires waiting and came up with a few that more or less answers her question.

Take note that these are what I would like in a lady, not necessarily my expectations - both different things altogether. Whilst we can all wish for the perfect person to fit every requirement, it's best to expect that only some will meet what we believe to be our wishes.


Intelligent
I don't mean MENSA candidates when I wrote that. I enjoy conversations about anything under the sky and it piques my interest when a woman is able to converse about more than just the surface of a topic. It's the same reason why I read and listen to all sorts of stories instead of choosing only those that fits my interests simply because a well-rounded mind are usually more level-headed and are less prone to being one-dimensional.

So what will we talk about once the usual topics are exhausted? There is only so much cuddling and sweet talk that you can do (although that is usually enough). I'm fine with ladies who don't know much but are not afraid of the idea of knowing more for the sake of having a better perspective in life.

Again, no geniuses needed, just one open to ideas and are capable of conversations beyond the superficial. Clever ones gets bonus points.

"I do astrophysics to relax".

Strong
Not in the sense of an Iron Lady World Champion but more in the likes of perseverance in the eye of the storm. Whilst I don't expect all women to stare at danger with hearts made of cold steel but I would like them to not be discouraged by the slightest of inconvenience.

For the same reason I actually find 'girly girls' a bit of a put off because of the amount of pacifying that you need to do when they are 'not in the mood'. I don't mind playful pacification, but serious ones because of petty things really gets on my nerves. If anything I like my ladies delicate and playful but not tofu-hearted.

One woman I know had a heartbreaking time tending to her dying son after a surgery failed to keep him healthy. She had to change him, feed him and then watch him wither away. While I would know that it would've broken the lesser woman, she persevered through in faith and then let go. I won't pretend to know the kind of hell she went through, but that to me is true strength.

Her name? Elizabeth, but I call her 'Ma'.

"That kid hasn't called. Again".

Simple things in life
Can she sit with me to watch the sunset without saying a single word? There are many joys in the world that are simple and I happen to enjoy them a lot - stroking a purring cat's soft fur, listening to a baby responding to her mother, watching fish wade around in a gentle pond, closing the eyes and listening to the waves crashing to the shore or sitting out at the rooftop looking at the stars surrounded by singing crickets.

I'd love to lie down on the rug with soft music on, lights off, the room illuminated by the moon et al, and do nothing but talk until we fall asleep.

The 24/7 world cuts down time for ourselves so much that it is difficult to slow down to smell the flowers, the hidden little treasures fly through our view because people are less inclined to stop and have a look with all the distractions what not.

"Dear, I think I left the iron on".

  
Independent
Personal space to me is important because it is some of the things that makes us individuals instead of clones or robots. There will come a time when all I want to do is do a dungeon crawl or watch a football match uninterrupted by continuous requests for attention. Spending time is essential in building the relationship but too much too often is like the protective cloth to the skin - creates friction that leads to blisters.

There are also times when I'd like to hang out with the guys without a woman on tow. I don't mind having them meet up together some times but it becomes a problem to me when there simply isn't any division between what defines 'me' and 'us'.

In reverse, a woman should have time to have the weekend out with their girlfriends or simply do something that is all of her own that doesn't involve their guy be it watching a soppy television drama or jogging at the park - all this without forcing the guy to be there when he doesn't want to.

"Who has time? Who has time? But then if we do not ever take time, how can we ever have time?"
- Merovingian, The Matrix Reloaded -

Nice cape.

 Trust
This to me is possibly one of the toughest thing to do in the world where infidelity is on the rise and divorce or breakup rates are on the rise. A world where everything is now interconnected, we all meet people everywhere, every time as well as my own call for personal space earlier.

There's old saying that if a girl asks about you all the time it means she cares which is all good and sundry. It is bad news when it graduates to suspicion and jealousy.

I experienced this first hand almost ten years ago and sufficed to say I was more relieved to be out of it than sad because I was tired of being viewed as one who was in the greatest risk of changing hearts because I was surrounded by similarly aged girls in university whom are entering their prime. Whilst I understand the concerns considering that she was far away in another continent, it wasn't the reassurance that I had to give regularly that was giving me a heartache - it's the lack of trust in my fidelity that led to the quarrels. The last straw was when she decided that she trusts her suspicion than she does of me.

I am thoroughly confident of how loyal I was to her when I was here over 10,000 km away. Sure there are temptations every where I was - it's the university when our hormones were at an all time high - but I stood through the thick and thin that the next two years we shall be reunited again.

The conclusion here is that I reserve my faithfulness to the woman only if she extends the same to me; she must understand that it cannot be a one way street where the only feelings that matters are hers. Not saying that our hearts are made of ones and zeroes that makes it either an on or off but the foundation of a stable and solid relationship begins with trust. If one cannot trust the other to be committed to the companionship, makes just about no sense to get together in the first place.

Perhaps we were immature back then, when relationships are made up just of being together, whispering sweet nothings and cuddles. We were simply ill prepared for the real challenges of maintaining a relationship beyond those.

"You.. have... just ... won... 50,000.... dollars...".

Personality
By far the toughest of them all. Everybody likes good looking people or at least above average ones as its a biological reaction - show me a person who is not interested in attractive people and I'll show you a liar.

We are all superficial but the difference is in the degree of how a person appears influences how much attention you give to how they actually are. The most superficial will put looks at the top of the list whilst the least will give the most points for personality.

In that sense whilst I have a healthy self-esteem of how I look, I'm at a handicap compared to my other friends and acquaintances who are taller and more good looking than I am. I need to do twice as much as work to achieve half of what they are capable of. In such I'm normally quite disliked during first impressions only to graduate to friends or good friends after knowing one another better.

An ex-colleague long ago told me that she hated my guts the first few weeks we met but eventually she thought I was a great guy after we got more chance to speak to one another.

Mom once made a remark that had me slighted for a bit (with a snide remark being a progeny of hers) which goes along the lines of this is a face that only she can love. She wasn't saying that I am an ugly troll - rather I happen to wear an unwelcoming face most of the time. I do admit that I don't smile very much and my default facial expression is half a unit over the 'sour' spectrum, juuuuust slightly.

Personally I have trouble smiling for no apparent reason simply because it is not only insincere, I'm cheating the other person of genuine warmth. I do smile during official matters but only because we are expected to.

Similarly I am averse to trying to become whatever I am not just to impress others (non in official capacity), most especially to women. Whilst there is truth in 'faking it till you make it', it is the very reason why you hear "he's changed" "you were not like that before" "you don't love me anymore" so very often nowadays.

I am keen on avoiding that pitfall, if she is not able to accept me for who I really am then I am not willing to cheat her of her confidence in me that will result in nothing but disappointments later - she deserves better.

That said, I admit that there is much to improve on how I package myself - there are ladies who are beyond my reach (either due to distance, status or some sort of legitimate barrier) who react favourably to how I look.

It will have to be a give and take - my expectations of them is the same as theirs of me; acceptance for the actual person, not how he/she appears to look like.

"You're a pretty puzzling fella".

---

All said, am I still being picky, I'd ask Vickee.

If you have read what I wrote from the start, you will find that I have described the many things that are foundations to maintaining a solid relationship, not the kind of expectations that I have in a woman. It would be obvious by now that I am already looking beyond the person, looking to understand what happens after the initial sparks have fizzled out.

Cracked.Com

I'm going to steal some ideas from one of my favourite comedy sites on the Internet - Cracked.com's format of using lists to speak about some everything under the sun.

The highlight of the site is not the content though as they refer to many other sources from the Internet but in the way they are being presented. The humour actually makes what people would call boring (read: history) into entertaining snippets. Better still you actually learn a thing or two because of the entertainment value from reading what would normally be consigned to the classroom or science journals. Paragraphs are often followed by often nonsensical images that illustrates something else along the context or actual images on related to the topic but with humourous captions.

I also love the fact that the writers actually do some sort of research into the topic before presenting their article. Whilst some of the referrals are arguable or even contentious,  they don't take themselves seriously and neither do the writers stand on the pedestal of infallibility.

Spend some time there - you'll love it.

Don't say I didn't warn you though - it's a serious time killer.

Best With White

A friend recently ventured a comment that made me stop whatever I was doing for a while and realise that I have been doing things or buying stuff that was particularly of a shade of colour.

His question was harmless enough but somewhat interesting because it haven't occurred to me before:

"Is it just me or do you seem to have a lot of things in orange?".

I stopped packing up the office laptop and looked up then realising that he was right.

At least one article of clothing that I bought, usually collared polos, was orange in colour; including the one I am wearing now, bought around three years ago. I bought a striped orange coloured twirled cotton polo, as well as another the year before.

The car I just bought in May is orange.

The logo of the company I just joined recently has orange as the dominant colour.

One of the product that I was most well versed with at the previous company had orange as the dominant colour of its logo as well.

One of the towels that I use is a shade of dark orange.

My favourite pieces of software - Mozilla Firefox and VLC Player has recognisable orange colours to their logos.

One of my MMORPG avatars has the name Pumpkin (yes, she's female) - as you know they're usually orange in colour.

This is how she looks like after midnight

Wilfred of Orange

Personally I don't really believe there is anything to it except that I thought orange colours, especially when combined with white stands out. Orange is a vibrant colour, white is a pure and bright - both of which combine to make a warm yet exciting colour.

Here's what the Internet says about the colour orange:

ORANGE

Positive: Physical comfort, food, warmth, security, sensuality, passion, abundance, fun.
Negative: Deprivation, frustration, frivolity, immaturity.

Since it is a combination of red and yellow, orange is stimulating and reaction to it is a combination of the physical and the emotional. It focuses our minds on issues of physical comfort - food, warmth, shelter etc. - and sensuality. It is a 'fun' colour. Negatively, it might focus on the exact opposite - deprivation. This is particularly likely when warm orange is used with black. Equally, too much orange suggests frivolity and a lack of serious intellectual values.

Autumn

Of the four seasons I like autumn the best, followed by spring, winter and summer. One of the most popular images of this transitional period between the end of summer and the start of winter are that of foliage in shades of orange in the contrast of greys and faded greens, the atmosphere is quiet and the air growing chilly. Still not freezing but cold - or just right.

(I'm certain some of my friends would go 'Huh!' at that last sentence, especially those living or used to live in temperate countries.)

My name reflects the kind of things that I cherish in life - wish for peace and tranquility so it's no surprise that I can be slow at things that does not warrant rushes or prefer to allow others to win on things of little significance as well as not liking to be forced or goaded into actions, be it for my own good or bad.


Colour for all times

I suppose it's no harm considering that orange does look very nice in certain things - I'll probably grab more polos of such types but not sure about declaring it my new favourite though. Perhaps only if it is with white that I would consider it lovely or classy when combined with grey.

Still, an innocent question about me and the shade halfway between red and yellow had me thinking about what my mind or heart had been telling me all this while. Then again, perhaps I was probably overcomplicating things.

As always.

Fruits of Toil

I often query friends, questions regarding their contribution to their employment in comparison to their gains after putting forward a scenario that pretty much sums up business as it is nowadays in a capitalist world.

Please bear in mind that I'm neither an accountant nor a tradesperson, the following are far simplified scenarios to just give some meat to the story.

Say an individual gets a US$1,000,000 loan to start a business selling sandwiches in 2010. The owner hires five people to work for him at their first store outlet at a shopping mall as salespersons, cook, accountant etc. Let's assume that business goes well and the company make 10% of net profit from total cost of US$50,000 a month (including loan payments),  amounting to US$5000, up to US$60,000 a year.

In the next five years, profit increases by 5% per annum.


Total net profit is approximately US$348,113

-

Question 1: Can the owner claim to own the whole sum of US$348,113 ?

Question 2: If not, does that mean the employees are rightful owners to parts of the business too?

If Work Rocks

... we would all do it for free.

No truer words spoken by Scott Adams in his book 'The Dilbert Principle'.

I recall once having a conversation with a company director I once during dinner. The conversation eventually moved towards everybody's life etc.

The guy told us about how he rarely sleeps more than 6 hours a day and have to be at on business even during weekends, sometimes without days off because let's face it, people in commerce will would try to do whatever they can for opportunities regardless of the day or risk missing out on what could amount to a big contract.

I don't fault that logic - besides I can see from his point of view that the harder one works - especially for directors in his shoes - the better the returns at the end of the day. Business grow or shrink on what these traders do at the negotiation table, the more the frequency the higher the chance of a good deal coming through. We should work harder he says, the company prospers, we would also prosper.

Even if they happen to be 'pals' with us, I didn't quite have the stomach to tickle the dragon that day by mentioning that for the rest of us employees, we could work as hard as he is or even more - 9am to 2am, work through lunch etc - weekends et al; the end result is still just our monthly salaries. We don't have 'dividends' to receive at the end of the year if sales increase by 15%. Bonuses are often afterthoughts after the shareholders have gotten their share of the 15% of extra profit.

That is why I don't touch the laptop or access company resources when I'm at home except in time-sensitive circumstances that require over the clock responses.

That's one of the problems with global trade - business day ends in Asia and it just begins in Europe. So practically you can submit a proposal, PO, letter or quotation between 7:00 - 12:00 am, receive a quick response within the next hour or so before going to sleep, then use the information for the next business day. There had been cases of mostly my ex-colleagues sitting in the office to finish a weekly update just because the partner's office starts at 9:00 our time and the local customer requires daily updates.

All fine and dandy, as long as it doesn't involve me due to the reasons above. Besides tradesmen have a reason to stay active in the market part from the frequency reasons. It's also due to their obligation or ambition to expand the business. The old saying is true, that one doesn't get rich doing their day jobs.

Do you want to be rich? Be ready to sacrifice most of your life to harder work than the average person is willing to do.

A Future Worth Believing In

An old article but meaningful nonetheless.

--

She's Israeli, he's an Arab. War has made them like mother and son

Sarfraz Manzoor
The Observer, Sunday 10 May 2009

 
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2009/may/10/palestine-israel-peace-campaigners

It is a friendship as remarkable as it is unlikely: Robi Damelin is a 65-year-old Jewish grandmother whose son, David, served in the Israeli army; Ali Abu Awwad, 37, is a former Palestinian revolutionary who joined the first intifada as a teenager and was later sentenced to 10 years in an Israeli prison – he served four. David Damelin was killed by a Palestinian sniper seven years ago; two years before that, Awwad's brother, Youssef, 32, was shot and killed by an Israeli soldier.

These were two deaths that might have been expected to contribute to the cycle of violence and hatred that characterises the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Instead, for the past five years Damelin and Awwad have travelled the world, speaking together at mosques, synagogues, parliaments and public meetings to spread the message that there will only be peace in the Middle East when there is reconciliation. Last week they brought that message to Britain, attending an Amnesty International event and speaking to an audience of Muslims at the London Central Mosque.

In the back of an east London coffee shop, the two reflected on a relationship that both hope may prefigure a different future for Israel and Palestine. "If someone had said to me when I was 15 that I would have someone like Robi as a friend," said Awwad, "in my wildest dream I would not have imagined it. But when I met her she began to tell me about her relationship to her sons and how the killing of David affected her relationship with her other son.

"I felt this very deeply because my mother didn't pay much attention to me after the death of my brother, because she was closer to him than me. We made a connection."

That connection was made through the Parents Circle, a remarkable organisation that brings together Israelis and Palestinians who have lost immediate members of their family in the conflict. The circle, also known as the Bereaved Family Forum, was set up by Yitzhak Frankenthal, an Orthodox Jew whose 19-year-old son had been killed by Hamas activists. Today it has more than 500 members who have all rejected violence, hatred or revenge as a means to solve the conflict.

"At first I didn't want to mix with bereaved parents," admitted Damelin, "but I gradually realised that the only hope for progress was to recognise the face of the conflict – that was why when they told me that David had been killed my first instinct was to say I did not want anyone killed in the name of my child. I did not want revenge."

It was through the Parents Circle that she met Awwad, whose brother had been shot in the head. "When I learned about my brother's death I was just so full of anger," he recalled. "But I realised that for me to survive I needed to meet someone from the other side who could understand me – so when I met Robi I met someone who gave me hope."

It is a hope which both Damelin and Awwad are keen to stress is not based on pretending there are no disagreements, but is instead rooted in the idea that the first step towards reconciliation is to recognise thesuffering of the other side. "If you are pro-Palestinian or pro-Israel you are not helping us," said Damelin. "You are just feeling good about yourself."

"For some Muslims, the situation in Palestine is theoretical," said Awwad. "Maybe that is why there is more militancy among British Muslims than there is in Palestine, and it's the same with American Jews who seem less likely to compromise than Israelis. Why? Because they are not the ones who have to stand at roadblocks every day, it isn't their children, their sons and brothers who are dying, so it is easy for them to say they do not want to compromise."

Compromise, Damelin and Awwad believe, is possible; they are both hopeful for the future. Damelin – who was born in South Africa – suggested that the Bereaved Families Forum could inspire a future Truth and Reconciliation Commission in Israel and Palestine.

"I remain an optimist," she said. "After all, if you had told me in 1967 when I left South Africa that one day whites and blacks would sit together in the same room I would have thought you were mad." As mad perhaps as if she had been told that a Palestinian ex-revolutionary would become one of her closest friends. "It is very difficult to give away things that belong to your child," she said in a quiet voice. "It is like admitting that they will not come back.

"But I had this lovely jacket that a relation had brought David – a beautiful jacket – and Ali and David are the same height and build, so I chose to give that jacket to Ali, and I am happy I did. It was the right thing to have done."

"Whatever you do, you cannot replace the child a mother has lost," said Awwad. "Youssef and David will never come back again, but at least you find something to live for. Wherever I go I carry a picture of David with me, it's in my bag with me right now."

The tea has been drunk and it is almost time to leave. It must be a strange experience, continually and publicly reopening the wounds of personal loss in the hope that it may eventually inspire peace. "This is my life, I don't have a choice any more," said Damelin, when asked how long she imagined she would continue travelling. "I have a motherly relationship with Ali. I worry about him, I care about what happens; maybe I am a little overprotective about him."

There is a palpable sense that she and Awwad complete the other in some way, offering some consoling echo of what has been lost. Theirs is a friendship that only appears unusual when individuals are reduced to labels and tribes; and yet when Ali Abu Awwad and Robi Damelin are viewed not as Israelis and Palestinians, Jews and Muslims, but rather as a son and mother, the relationship begins not to feel unlikely at all.

"I have found in Robi what I didn't get from my own mother," said Awwad. "She knows what kind of clothes I like, the people I like, and she advises me on all these things. She even knows what food I like."

"Shrimps," said Damelin, laughing. "He is addicted to shrimps."

就像蝴蝶飞不过沧海，没有谁忍心责怪

There are times in life when we will all be confronted with something that you desire to have the most, something that means a great deal to the meaning of our lives to which we are willing to give something up or change just to accommodate it.

To everybody, that something is rarely petty or shallow - it is often a thing that has either fulfills the value that one holds or actualises his or her own dreams and aspirations.

To married couples their single most aspired dream come true would be to have a child that would complete the reason for their union in the first place and begin a family together. When it did happen, just look at them giving up all their own comforts and personal needs just to make sure that their precious offspring are accorded the best future possible. Until they hit puberty and start acting emo, which is another story altogether...

An athlete would train day and night to build their stamina, strength and skill to be become the world's best, working harder than they need, pushing their limits beyond what is necesary. Becoming the best in the world is the crowning glory to their entire career.

A science researcher would gladly ignore friends and leisure, using as much time as they can to produce vaccine to the deadliest diseases in the world, putting themselves in danger by getting exposed to the deadly pathogens that they vow to put an end to, for the sake of ending the cycle of death that destroyed futures before they can begin. His journey would reach the pinnacle when the vaccine becomes real and can be mass developed to begin the end of a scourge and bring hope to dreams.

As much as we would love for dreams to come true, regardless of how true its aims, whatever the goal - it can be heartbreaking sometimes when you miss what is to be the opportunity of a lifetime due to technicality or a situation that makes it a bigger loss than a gain.

Take for instance Roy Keane, the former captain of Manchester United and Ireland - he was a great midfield general, even the most blinkered of Liverpool fans would admit how influential he was to the Red Devils. In 1999, he would miss out in appearing in possibly the highest level of professional football competition in the European Cup final by picking up another booking that would lead to a suspension.

Lesser players would have wilted and broke down, losing the very edge that made them they very winners that they could be but Roy played on with unquestionable determination and tenacity to make sure that his team makes it to the finals. They eventually won the Cup - he got a medal of course - but the very bit of missing the actual match itself, leading the best team in Europe to victory must have hurt him deeply.

We all face things like this at least once, if not frequently. Our reactions to disappoinment is either what differentiates betwen one person to another. Some would simply make peace for it is either not within their right to obtain or they see the risk of damage by reaching for it. Another person might keep it bottled and remember it as a bitter pill to swallow that changes their lives, a reminder of a denied opportunity by an unfair world. And of course those who become subjects of movies, novels and inspirational stories - people who rebel against 'fate' and decided to change the rules and achieve what they want anyway, oftimes sacrificing much of themselves to gain something that they consider to be of equal worth.

I would be lying if I said I have never needed to walk down the path of cold rain knowing that you can't stop droplets of water from falling from the skies. One feels as if the world conspires to deny you what you have wanted the most by dangling it in front of your face like a carrot on a string and yanking it away when it is within touch.

"I just washed the damn car!"

It would also be lies if I said I have made peace with it all - some of the disappoinments will remain bitter thoughts of something that could be but never will because it is not within your control. Metaphorically speaking, it's like something that will disappear when you reach for it, but will remain there if you don't.

I used to make analogies for things like this, including a butterfly that stops by your garden that you painstakingly tended - you can't reach for it or it flies away. A real life analogy would be like the cats I see along the street when I walk to and from my house - I'd like to pat and stroke their fur but the moment I get too close they get ready to scamper off; come no closer and they happily lick themselves with a little acknowledgement that a big hairless ape is walking by.

I prefer beetles - they don't run very fast.

But at the end of the day, understanding that we are part of a grander scheme of things would probably help in accepting that you did what you could in your part - the rest is not in your hands to give.

Year of the Big Meow

I was home for the Lunar New Year, pretty much to spend my time resting as much as possible before returning to the rat race at the city. Life is a little more relaxed here with the hustle and bustle nowhere near as bad the hectic 24/7 life at KL. It's never too busy here and never too laidback either with things to do at all times, depending on whaty you fancy.

The journey back was pretty uneventful except for the issue of flight status updates at the airport which was malfunctioning, causing people to stand in front digital boards wondering why are the check-in counters open yet even when it's less than an hour and a half to departure. Thankfully the helpful people at the information counter relayed to me the correct gates to check in. Met an old classmate who took the same flight whom were as groggy as I was that morning thanks to the lack of sleep - I was at the airport at a little past 4.30 am.

It took quite some willpower not to bark at the check-in officers at the gate when they had to put on a show speaking to one another when queried about the problem with updates, correcting one another on the number of times they called support. I couldn't care less about how many times they bugged the people manning the digital boards, a simple "We're sorry about the inconvenience. The technical crew is working on it" is more than sufficient compared to " we've called them ten times yeah? No idea what happened there, it's still going on after we called them ten times".

Who's keeping score?

Life has gotten a little more busy of late with the festivities et al, the number of people in town seemed to rise dramatically compared to just a year ago. You have traffic jams now in town, though not as amazing as the ones on the Federal Highway every evening. Business and commerce is bustling with shoppers everywhere buying everything, pretty much to prepare for the upcoming celebrations.
 
I was out in town with Bro to shop for clothing and my instinct to wait until I was home paid off - every single year I went for clothes shopping in Miri because I happen to prefer the kind of cuts and designs available and get this, the sales would often render expensive brands to less than three digits in pricetag - something I don't see very often in KL considering the price war is supposed to be a lot fiercer there. Perhaps it's because I didn't go out often enough there, but I have been out for window-shopping during sales before and heck, what we have in Miri ain't chopped liver. Furthermore I don't have to fight for walking and breathing space although the number of shoppers has increased and a lot of the designs are nice enough to suit my tastes.

My cousin made an observation which I was about to talk to him about regarding the city apart from the increasing number of people - the sudden spike in the number of attractive women wondering about the place in just a single year. To quote his comment, it was as if they all took a study trip to KL or Taiwan on grooming and came back just in time for the New Year. I suppose many came back from KL or Singapore for the celebrations but that doesn't quite explain the ones taking care of shops.

If there's anything that doesn't change, the guys with spiky, ruffled hairs ala Cloud Strife are still around even if it makes them look no different to one another. A bit of highlight here and there, they still don't look any unique to the other guys who just passed by. I suppose no one is immune to cultural influence - I tried to copy Clark Datchler's prep hairstyle, while Bro did the Vanilla Ice eons ago. Nowadays to us, anything practical and easy to take care is the best.

The old barber's shop that I frequent throughout my life relocated again, now at the corner next to the old bazaar. They had six chairs now instead of four with all of it fully occupied when I dropped by, perhaps from the influx of people wanting to have their hair cut before the New Year or simply because business was getting better. I only recognised one of them now, the plump man who has been there for as long as I've had my hair cut, while the rest were people I didn't know with one youngish fella with them.

Apart from a few visits to the houses of I have not been to for ages - we spent the last few New Years away from town - it's pretty uneventful here nowadays. My parents are a little older now that they only visited close relatives & friends whilst skipping houses of others. It's also pretty hot, a big change from the flood infested of the year before, so not many of us are that enthusiastic about going out to visit houses. Gone were the days when we went from house to house in consecutive days (and raking up red packets).

It's the price we pay for a town's maturisation into a city I suppose. The busier it is the less for people to meet up unless at work, things slowly become a little more impersonal with the number of unrecognised faces increasing daily so we stick more with the ones with identify the most with.

As I type this a second lion dance troupe is making its round in the neighbourhood, the first one waking me up at the 'ungodly' hours of 8.30 am with their ching-chang and drum beats right downstairs. The family no longer appreciates lion dances like we used to - my parents probably can't tolerate the loud noise whilst I've grown cynical about 'blessings' from paper mache lion heads. I guess it's a matter of perspective now - what was fun back then isn't much so nowadays.

Undeniably, superstition plays a big part in what was supposed to simply be the ushering of the new lunar calendar year. "Do not sweep the floor during CNY or you'll sweep away all the fortunes", heard of this one before? My family has never believed in all that, I've always wondered how did things like these become as ingrained in tradition as it is in superstition. Take for instance the term 'guo nian' and firecrackers; legend has it that a monster named Nian terrorised a village in China during ancient times and were chased away by the loud noises made from explosives and clanging of metal pots & pans - how many people still believe in that nowadays?

To me the tradition to usher in the first day of New Year with firecrackers has the same logic of claps or cheers during any occassion - it's a declaration of happiness, a celebration, approval. Now that makes sense, 'Nian' however, doesn't.

I had a small chat with some colleagues in the office many weeks ago about the word 福 being suspended downwards at some houses as a symbolism of the pouring of fortune from the heavens. I asked the origin of this practice and predictably nobody gave me any good reasons except that one won't know unless they try it and it costs nothing to have it put upside down - people do so because it is a symbolism. I then ventured to the idea of turning the word gold 金, money 钱 or even health 康 the same way, but was told that people don't do so because it's not a tradition.

Tradition.

I often wonder who sets these traditions as acceptable or not anyway? Why would a reversely suspended word gold not mean the same as suspended word fortune? Why won't it be intepreted as 'downturn of fortune' instead of pouring fortune?

Well, to quote Mom, it's fine to believe in the influence of the stars and cosmos in our lives, as long as it doesn't blind you from what is true. What is true, you might ask? It can mean many things, from one's principle, to science to religion. It's ok to suspend the word fortune upside down but it's wrong to think that will be the key to success or lack of.

Whatever it is, I'll still enjoy watching people blasting fireworks of multicolours up in the sky on the midnight of new year's eve or buy pork jerky to munch on, but they will be nothing else to me but things for celebration instead the celebration itself.

Happy Year of the Tiger 2010.

Have we forgotten?

This entry was originally much longer than this because of the many things in my mind regarding the current event that is happening right now in the country, but I decided to just make a few quotes from a movie, a holy book and a treatise, to illustrate what I think about the whole issue.

"I put no stock in religion. By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of God. I've seen too much religion in the eyes of murderers. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What God desires is (here points to head - the mind) and here (points to heart - soul) and what you decide to do every day will make you a good man...or not".

Hospitaller Knight, commenting on the movie hero's Balian's statement that he lost his religion and found no respite.

"None of us know our end really, or what hand will guide us there. A King may move a man, a father may claim a son. That man can also move himself. And only then does that man truly begin his own game. Remember that howsoever you are played, or by whom, your soul is in your keeping alone. Even though those who presume to play you be kings or men of power. When you stand before God, you cannot say 'but I was told by others to do thus' or that 'virtue was not convenient at the time.' This will not suffice. Remember that".

King Baldwin IV, during his first meeting with Balian at the palace of Jerusalem.

One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?". "The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'There is no commandment greater than these." "Well said, teacher," the man replied. "You are right in saying that God is one and there is no other but him. To love him with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices." Now when Jesus saw that he answered wisely, He said to him, “You are not far from the kingdom of God.” But after that no one dared question Him.

Mark 12:28-34, New King James Bible

"And do not dispute with the followers of the Book except by what is best, except those of them who act unjustly, and say: We believe in that which has been revealed to us and revealed to you, and our God and your God is One, and to Him do we submit".

al-Quran 29:46 - translation by Muhammad Habib Shakir

"In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Beneficent. This is what the slave of Allah, Umar b.Al-Khattab, the Amir of the believers, has offered the people of Illyaa’ of security granting them Amaan (protection) for their selves, their money, their churches, their children, their lowly and their innocent, and the remainder of their people. Their churches are not to be taken, nor are they to be destroyed, nor are they to be degraded or belittled, neither are their crosses or their money, and they are not to be forced to change their religion, nor is any one of them to be harmed. No Jews are to live with them in Illyaa’ and it is required of the people of Illyaa’ to pay the Jizya, like the people of the cities. It is also required of them to remove the Romans from the land; and whoever amongst the people of Illyaa’ that wishes to depart with their selves and their money with the Romans, leaving their business and crosses behind, then their selves, their trading goods and their children are secure until they reach their destination. Upon what is in this book is the word of Allah, the covenant of His Messenger, of the Khulafaa’ and of the believers if they (the people of Illyaa’) gave what was required of them of Jizya. The witnesses upon this were Khalid ibn Al-Walid, 'Amr ibn al-'As, Abdur Rahman bin Awf and Muawiyah ibn Abi Sufyan. Written and passed on the 15th year (after Hijrah)".

Al-'Uhda Al-'Umariyya, 'Convenant of Caliph Umar al-Khattab I'